They say everything takes work. I never realized how sobering it would be to engage in a reciprocal relationship with another person. There are still so many nuances, so many pitfalls that are necessary to fall in since I fell for you that they don't seem real anymore. Visiting your family was sobering. I was met by the stark realization that if I was to be with you it would mean accepting your family and  accepting you with all of your pitfalls that made me fall for you in the first place. Lately I feel so irritated by everything and everyone that I feel  lost. I see you on the couch watching zombie movies and smoking pot. You sleep lots because of your arm. We fight over your family. You are so loyal to them, that I feel intimidated by even approaching the subject. It makes me feel guilty. That is all.